What a strange month it’s been. It feels like a whole year, in some respects. It’s maybe more like 6 weeks since we went into lockdown. Since the fear gripped us all, coupled with deep uncertainty. Since my dreams turned into a jumbled trainwreck of past/present/future – real folk mingling with characters from films or mini-series. (My beautiful late Mum was having what looked like a fab conversation with Leonard Nimoy’s character from Fringe, just a few nights ago!) I’ve dreamed of Grandparents, parents, old bosses, friends, former places I’ve lived, all mashed together all in one big, tangle of oddness. This happens often! (I’m not a psychologist. But if I had to hazard a guess as to why, it could be simply because our outer landscape has become such a weird place. The familiar, rendered unfamiliar. With only small things to anchor us. Moments of comfort and happiness mixed with fear; someone’s termed it a ‘Coronacoaster’ and I think that sums it up well! The mundane, the fun, the weird, the fear; all mixed up and experienced on a daily basis! Going to the shops has felt like Russian Roulette, at times. And the fear of 'if I’m contagious and could I pass this to anyone else?' It’s a heavy thing, sometimes, this.
But some things do anchor us back into a deep sense of joy. The importance of creativity to help anchor us into some deep well of inspiration, even in difficult times. Catching up with friends, even at a distance! Laughter really is damn good medicine. :-)
And fear distorts so damn much, doesn’t it? I’ve seen former spiritual folk slip into the murky sea of conspiracies, up to their neck (don't get me wrong, I don’t believe we can trust our slippery current government all that much, and sometimes the conspiracies can be true! It’s good to keep an open mind – just perhaps right now with all the fear, some folk are losing their minds completely. (Understandable – but a good lesson in keeping grounded where possible, and not doing an Icarus!) :-)
I don’t have any solid answers – I’m on this Coronacoaster and I’m human, too! :-) But I do know that fear shrinks us, and makes our thinking distorted. And love expands us. Love makes us bigger inside, more joyous, and buoyed, even in this storm. I’ve also seen lovely people become consumed by anger and bitterness and I know that’s a way downwards, a dark path that can lead towards decay of the soul. When we hate, we can become what we hate. (Darkness can drag us down and blacken our hearts if we don’t make an effort to swim back up to the surface. Sometimes Darkness can seem like a friend, when you think of the allure of dark rock songs, for example. They can help people adjust to the darkness within. But too much can consume you, and you might not know until it's too late. It's a force to be respected, and not dived into. And if you do take small steps downward, please do mark your path back home with breadcrumbs or stones or tiny remnants of who you usually are, your kindness, your humanity. Songs/animals/people. Things you love unconditionally.
Love is the key*. If we hold love in our hearts like a tiny flame, it tends to ignite, inspire, keep us alive, feeling joyous, buoyant, expansive, open. Love kills fear. And of course, it’s not easy if all is falling apart around us. But, even a tiny flame can invite in magic, if you’ll let it**.
Spirituality and meditation are also brilliant. Meditation helps us see beyond limitations of thinking. And spirituality helps us see the magic our ancestors once knew but modern society eroded. It's been a long month. But there are brilliant developments with regards a vaccine, and who knows? Hope always finds a way through, even in the darkest of times. :-) xx
*Don't get me wrong, occasional swearing is also good for the soul! :-)
**For everything else, there is beer! :-)
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